Have you woken up feeling foggy headed this morning, after a night of hot sweat palpitations , overthinking and restlessness? Is your brain taking a while to get into the day? Are you searching your brain to try and remember the tasks that are ahead and wondering, how will I feel today?
Will I be cranky, impatient, will my muscles hurt ?
Sound familiar? The chances are that you are going through the menopause or you are in the wonderful run up years known as perimenopause.
I am with you.
However, I have made a conscious decision that this is not going to be a stage in my life “that I just get through”.
It is a stage where I am going to reframe it for myself and the many women I coach as “my Golden Years” . Using my knowledge of positive psychology and cognitive behaviour coaching, I am going to go with, embrace and even celebrate my menopause.
Based on the theory of Martin Seligman’s PERMAH model (adding the H for health) I am working this through the core of these years and helping my clients to do the same.
Is it easy? No
Can it be bewildering? Yes
Positive Emotions
Hormones play havoc with our thought processes during the menopause. However, I still know that we can choose our thoughts. I have made a decision through this season of my life that I am going to focus on my positive emotions of hope, love , joy, kindness, gratitude, pride and focus on those.
Engagement
I am not going to dismiss the symptoms of the menopause. I am going to engage with it. Reading everything I can lay my hands-on, seeking help from professionals and embracing treatments and strategies that can help my clients and myself.
I am also not going to let the big M define my life and who I am.
I will be fully engaged in the exciting life that I have, looking for new opportunities and experiences and adventure.
My life is not going to be put on hold for this menopause thing.
Relationships
I am going to be open and honest in my relationships. I am going to tell my loved ones that I may be cranky and irritable and that this is due to my hormones. As I live in a house full of men, I am going to discuss this with them and tell them how it is, instead of hiding it and getting through. The future wives of my sons can thank me later.
This is a time in our lives, usually where our children are beginning to leave the nest to be replaced by parents who are getting older and needing us more frequently.
Meaning
I am going to celebrate the new meaning that this stage of my life brings. I am older, wiser, stronger and much more confident than I was in my younger years.
I have purpose and I have meaning in my work as a coach, in my faith and in my friendships. Having meaning in our lives is important and raises our happiness levels. The meaning in our lives can take the form of many adventures, we may have a little more free time now to look at the adventures and opportunities that we haven’t embraced yet. This is a great time to flourish and thrive in the home and in our workplace.
Accomplishment
I am going to celebrate
my accomplishments both big and small. I am completing a Masters degree in Positive Psychology and Coaching during my menopause years. I have set up my own business during the peri-menopause.
This is not a time to stop, but a springboard to move forward and do the things you have always wanted to do. You have succeeded in careers, brought up children , negotiated through many difficult patches of life. It is time to use your wisdom and strength and march on to your next adventure taking the hormonal gel and tablets with you.
Health
I know that this is crucial. As every book and magazine article informs us this is when our waistline gets thicker, our bones get weaker etc etc etc.
I say “no” to this biological stage in my life. I am going to be the fittest, I have ever been and if I cannot do this by myself I will get help.
I will lean on experts in the field. I looked in the mirror 8 weeks ago and did not like what I saw but most importantly, how I felt. I decided I am going to lose a stone in 8 weeks, not with some fad diet but with good healthy food, lots of HIIT exercise and strength training. I am writing this at the end of week 6, with one pound to go to the target.
How are you going to embrace your menopause?
How are you going to flourish and thrive during this period of time?
This is just the beginning of this journey.
Please share any positive stories of managing this time in your life. When women share stories we are empowered, learning together as we walk this tricky and new path.
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